TRIPLETS!

When I found out I was pregnant my emotions were 50/50 - happy and excited but nervous and worried.  Even though this pregnancy is going differently there is always this lurking worry - will the outcome of this pregnancy be the same as the past?  Monday, April 16 was my first ultrasound.  For the first time I was calm - not worried at all.  As my doctor started the ultrasound I saw her jaw drop and then I heard the words "THERE ARE 3 HEARTBEATS!"

Those words, the moment - was surprising, magical, perfect.  At 6w2d hearing a heartbeat isn't a guarantee.  Going into the appointment I hoped to see the yolk sac and fetal pole - signs that my baby was growing correctly.  The heartbeats blew me away - the "normal range" for this time is 90-110.  My babies had heartbeats of 114, 116 and 120.

Leaving the appointment I couldn't wait to share my news.  After 4 losses, heart beak, tears and a year of TTC triplets wasn't something I could keep a secret until the second trimester!  

Week 6 was pretty uneventful - lots of nausea, food aversions and excitement mixed with shock.  Exactly one week later we went to our second ultrasound.  At 7w2d I felt confident - I had all of the pregnancy symptoms and had definitely started to notice a bump.  My doctor repeated the same words: "THERE ARE 3 HEARTBEATS."  At 7w2d the babies were noticeably larger and had much stronger heartbeats at 141, 147 and 153.  

I was SO thrilled that things are progressing correctly!  Sadly, during my excitement my doctor recommended we "reduce" the triplets to twins.  At first I was sincerely confused by this recommendation - what the hell does it mean to reduce?  Well, reduction is a nice word for abort.  Andy and I are definitely against this option - although there are risks associated with a triplet pregnancy I could not follow through with this option!  

Leaving the appointment I felt a great wave of confidence that things will go well for this pregnancy!  For the next 5 weeks we will have weekly ultrasounds to check the growth of each baby.  I am SO excited to see their growth, hear their heartbeats and prepare for the second trimester!  We will continue to see our fertility doctor until 12 weeks as well as a high risk ob/gyn.  I have also been referred to a nutritionist who will help me figure out how to eat enough for all 4 of us!  My most exciting adventure, however, is not the doctor appointments.  During week 8 I am going to buy a digital fetal doppler ... I CAN'T WAIT to listen to their little heartbeats at home! :) 

Hello Nausea

Each of my pregnancies has started the same: exhaustion, hormone dreams and sore boobs.  Usually these symptoms begin to fade by week 6.  This pregnancy started the same only earlier than in the past.

I actually knew I would be pregnant on St. Patrick's Day when I felt my eggs drop - an experience many women do not pay attention to and miss.  In March it wasn't the same small cramping - it was intense and on both sides.  The pregnancy symptoms began to show shortly after this phenomena.

The exhaustion, hormone dreams and sore breasts are STILL strong and this past week I was introduced to a new symptom: nausea.  The nausea has NOT been what pregnancy books say it will be.  It is not cured by saltines, eating before bed, drinking more water or anything else.  It is STRONG, overwhelming and all consuming.  Luckily I have had the past week off because I've spent almost all of it either in bed or on the couch.

Today I'm 5w6d - based on my pregnancy book that means my little bun already has a functioning liver, noticeable limbs, heart and is currently forming it's mouth, jaw and esophagus.  It's heart should start beating any time now.  When I read these things the nausea seems WORTH IT!

Each night before bed I document the symptoms of the day.  Each morning I make a mental check: hormone dream? check. sore chest? check. nauseous? check.  These symptoms remind me that my little bun is growing and hopefully with no complications!  My fingers are crossed for Monday which cannot come soon enough!!!

One Step Closer ... literally.

It has certainly been a long time since I've posted!  I've been doing some personal reflection and meditation on our future!  The "Clomid Challenge" was great - we FINALLY got the answers we have been waiting so long to hear.  Our doctor was extremely optimistic and gave us three choices.  She said it was our choice how aggressive we want to be: clomid, IUI or IVF.  Here is the breakdown of the options:

*Clomid: $50/month - take hormone drugs, have timed sex - pretty easy but 100% trial and error

*IUI: ~$6K/month - Andy gives me hormone injections, Andy gives a sperm sample, our doctor injects the sperm into 2 of the best eggs I produce - while this would have better success no testing is done on the eggs so it is kind of a trial and error approach

*IVF: ~20K/month - very invasive - Andy gives me hormone injections, Andy gives a sperm sample, I have a surgery to collect my eggs (so to speak), my eggs are tested and combined with Andy's sperm, only the 2 best eggs are implanted - less trial and error but extremely expensive!

Even though we got "good news" - that there are options it is still hard to make a choice.  What is the best choice for us?  How can we make a decision that is safe for my body and won't put us into debt that disables our future?  Where do you draw the line?  How much is "too much money" to have a baby?  LUCKILY WE DIDN'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THESE CHOICES FOR VERY LONG ...

1 Samuel 1:27: "I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him."

God has a mysterious way of showing you what path is best.  And on 8DPO (yes, only 8 days past ovulation) I got a POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST!  I have to admit with each pregnancy the excitement becomes harder to accept.  I am excited but with reservations - how many times can my heart be broken?

I have debated, the last 2 weeks, sharing this news.  Is it too soon?  What if something happens?

I've decided to maintain a positive attitude - pray, talk to my growing embryo, pray more and share my exciting news because truth be told I am grateful to have a support system that is here for the good news and the bad.

So far, only good!  No cramps, no spotting and SOARING hcg levels!

9dpo: hcg was 129 and progesterone was 80+
11 dpo: hcg was 474 and progesterone was still 80+
13 dpo: hcg was 1464 and progesterone was 100+
Our first ultrasound is Monday, April 16 and I am anxious for a positive ultrasound experience!  Since I made TWO eggs on clomid this ultrasound will reveal if there is one bun in the oven or two!  I am just hoping for a healthy pregnancy and will be grateful for any blessing but twins certainly sounds like an adventure!  <3

*Although I am excited to share on my personal blog I am waiting to share on Facebook until after our ultrasounds on April 16 and April 30 so thank you for your secrecy!